Heidis Bar - a laymans explanation of how they got us in to such a financial mess

The author of this piece remains anonymous, but it has been flying around the internet for the last two years. Well worth a read if you are like me and don't fully comprehend what the hell actually happened with the recent global financial meltdown.


Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Berlin .
In order to increase sales, she decides to allow her customers, most of whom are unemployed alcoholics, to buy now and pay later.
Word gets around and as a result, customers flood into Heidi's bar!
Taking advantage of her customers' freedom from immediate payment constraints,
Heidi increases her prices, and her volume increases dramatically!
A young go-getter at the local bank recognizes these debts as valuable future
assets and increases Heidi's borrowing limit.
He sees no reason for concern since he has the debts of the alcoholics as collateral.
At the bank's corporate head office, experts transform these customer assets into DRINKBONDS,
ALKYBONDS and PUKEBONDS.
These securities are then traded on the world market.
It should be pointed out that no one really understands what the names of these bonds
mean, or how the securities are guaranteed.
Nevertheless, as their prices continually climb, the securities become top-selling items.
Life is good !
One day, although the prices are still climbing, a risk manager, (subsequently fired for negativity), decides that the time has come to demand payment of the debts incurred by the drinkers at Heidi's bar.
 However, they cannot pay back the debts.
Heidi cannot fulfill her loan obligations and claims bankruptcy.
DRINKBOND and ALKYBOND drop in price by 95%.
PUKEBOND performs a little better, stabilizing after dropping only 80%!
The suppliers to Heidi's bar, having granted her generous payment-due dates, and having invested in the securities, are now faced with a new situation!
Her wine supplier claims bankruptcy, and her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor.
The bank is saved by the government following dramatic round-the-clock consultations
by leaders from the governing political parties.
The funds required for this emergency bail-out are obtained by a special tax levied on, guess who?
THE NON-DRINKERS!
(Sound familiar?)
In the real world, okay you get free beer (credit) for a while, and then you lose your home, become a drunk and find a ‘Heidi Place' in which to wonder HTF it could have happened to you.